• Home
  • About Me
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About Me
  • Blog
  • Contact

Questions in Grief

4/24/2018

0 Comments

 
A week ago I lost a best friend. Out of nowhere, she got sick and died a week later. She had a 10 month old baby, and now her widowed husband is left without the love of his life, and left with another human to raise.  My friend knew that colon cancer ran in her family so a few months prior to her getting sick, she had a voulentary colonectamy. Cancer got her anyway. My heart is broken from the loss of a lifelong bestfriend. She lived down the street from me, so I spent nearly everyday either playing, studying, gossiping, or watching MTV at her house (because my dad blocked that channel). 
I can't help but wonder why the hell she has to die, and I get to live. Don't misunderstand, I want to live, but I have flirted with so much dangerous behavior pertaining to my ED that I almost feel like I have nine lives. She did everything right, even taking extra precautions to make sure she satyed around fro her daughter, and she's not here and I am.  It doesn't make since, but I am strating to realize two really major things: 1. Life is so fucking fradgile, and 2. There has to be a significant reason I am still here. I was told in the hospital that the doctors had never seen anyone survive with levels that low, but I did. Twice. Why? Like, really, WHY? 
I'm crushed from the loss of the most authintic friend, and I am greatful for the chance to start living more and more each day. This is not dumb luck. 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    A strong-willed, stubborn woman who won't take no for an answer

    Archives

    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.